Things to say if caught sleeping at your desk

Face it, we all feel sleepy the moment we enter the office premises. But what if your boss caught you sleeping at your desk? Here is what you can tell him:

• "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
• "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
• "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
• "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
• "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
• "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
• "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
• "The coffee machine is broken..."
• "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
• " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

School Gifts

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Matematika Uang

Di salah satu sekolah dasar di Medan, seorang guru mengajarkan matematika, dengan menggunakan uang rupiah sebagai sarana penyampaiannya.

Bu Guru bertanya, "Perhatikan anak-anak, pada uang rupiah yang bergambar Pak Harto berapakah nilai rupiahnya?"

Murid-murid menjawab, "Lima puluh ribu, Bu Guru!"

Bu Guru bertanya lagi, "Sekarang perhatikan, pada uang rupiah yang bergambar monyet di hutan berapakah nilai rupiahnya?"

Murid-murid menjawab, "Lima ratus, Bu Guru!"

Untuk mentest kekuatan penalaran murid-muridnya, dengan penuh selidik, Bu Guru bertanya, "Jadi apa kesimpulan yang dapat kita tarik dari gambar dan nilai masing-masing uang rupiah tersebut anak-anak?"

Murid-murid secara serempak menjawab, "Lima puluh ribu dibagi lima ratus adalah seratus, Bu Guru. Jadi menurut mata uang kita, Pak Harto sama nilainya dengan seratus monyet di hutan, Bu Guru!"